CARNIVAL of AFRICAN AMERICAN GENEALOGY: GRANDMA HANDS! GRANDMOTHERS and THEIR INFLUENCE on the FAMILY!

A child is born with two sets of Grandparents, Maternal and Paternal.

My Mom and Dad split when I was around 3 or 4, but my Mom made sure we(my Brother and I) maintained a relationship with our Dad, his Mom and all my relatives as they say "On that side of the family'.

I was able to meet, know, and live with my Paternal Grandmother Lily Mathis and the Influences she had on me and the Family still remains in Us today.

I want to share my memory of meeting my Grandmuh(thats what we called her) and all her wisdom that I learned from spending my very first summer with her.

I was around 7 or 8 years old. My mom told us that we were going to visit our Dad. See although they were split up he still came over to our house and got us ready for school and stayed with us until my mom came home from work. So at this time all that had stopped and we were missing our Dad. I had no idea I was going to be spending the whole summer.

Seems like it took forever to get there(we lived on the Southside of Chicago and my dad lived on the Westside), but finally we pulled up in front and everyone was outside on the porch waiting on us. (thats where the kids hung out during the day and the adults hung out at night). We use to hear them laughing and drinking it seemed like all night.

My Grandmuh lived in a two flat dwelling. One of my Aunts and her family lived on the second floor and my Grandmuh, Dad, and my other Aunt lived on the first floor. I spent most of the time between the first and second floor that summer usually staying wherever I fell asleep. Although my cousins tried to make me feel bad about staying in one place or the other, my Grandmuh never did. I believe in my heart she was just happy to have my brother and I over that summer.

I was a shy little girl and when everyone came up to the car I got scared and refused to get out. No matter what my Mom and Dad said I would not move(I was stubborn also), but when my Grndmuh came down the stairs from her chair and took my hand and reassured me in that stern voice saying "everything is going to be alright". At that moment I knew that it was and I could not resist her and got my but out of that car.

I was lead up the stairs and put in a chair right next to my Grandmuh and thats where I stayed for the first couple of days of that summer. More mad at my Mom for tricking me. Not even realizing that I was hurting myself!

Now that I look back on things, I am so glad that I was stubborn as I was because thats where I learned most of my wisdom and how to read people. Thats where I learned some courage and learned how important family is.

I was tested so much that summer and all I can remember is my Grandmuh saying "If you don't go out there and take up for yourself, I'm going to whip your behind".

I was not having that. We all knew that Grandmuh kept a big stick and a switch by her Lazy Boy Chair where she sat and watched the Chicago Cubs BaseBall Games. With her feet in the air, she always wore stockings(knee highs) not matter what season of weather it was. When one of us got in trouble, we had to sit right next to that Lazy Boy Chair with that stick or switch on her lap. We would be under her in that chair wether we were in trouble or not one time she came down on one of my cousins that was under the foot part of the Lazy Boy as she was trying to get out of the chair. He was hollering, but she just said "Shouldn't been under there".

Although my Grandmuh did not have much money and propably could not afford to have my brother and I over, she always made sure we felt welcome and had no more or less that the other kids. My Mom would leave money for us with her, she would not let us spend it all up and she always knew when someone had talked us into asking for it.

When my brother ran off with my cousin one summer and no one knew where they were, we all banned together to look for them. When they showed up and my Dad whipped my brother ad hit him in the eye with a belt(my brother still to this day have problems with that eye), Grandmuh was apologizing to my Mom more than my Dad was.

See its those little things that I learned from my Grandmuh back then. Apologize for something sometime even if it is not your fault. Have some compassion. Care about others.

Every summer that I spent with her and my cousins, she taught and instilled in me something different. She taught me so much as a Grandmother would. I learned so much from her and I have passed it on to my children and I Pray that they pass it onto theirs. (WISDOM)

Grandmuh passed away when I was 14 years old. See at that time I was a little rebelious and she took me in and showed me a little structure. Although she was sick by this time, she still had that stern hand on the Family.

I never got our Family History from her, but every little thing that she did and taught us I carry with me every day and I would not change the time I spent with her for nothing in the WORLD!!